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Tuesday, 5 August 2014
Sunday, 3 August 2014
MOVIE REVIEW: Holiday – A Soldier Is Never Off Duty
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha
Director: A.R Murugadoss
Rating: Two stars
Holiday… The soldier is never on leave but conveniently excuses himself from a heated argument on how to nail a terrorist to attend to his stupid girlfriend who has far more stupid demands. The soldier is never on leave but he has all the time in the world to change into colourful clothes, zip to a deserted fort to dance with his ladylove. And this is just the tip of the bizarre iceberg.
Holiday ironically starts with the army man Virat (Akshay-forever-Khiladi-Kumar) who is on leave and comes back home to get married. He rejects the girl (Sabia) because, err, she has long hair and is coy. And later when he realises that the girl is not only a boxer but an athlete and a tennis player as well, (basically Olympics ki chalti phirti dukan), he changes his mind.
The main plot of the film consists of some sleeping cell agents. Sleeping cell who, you may ask! Umm… to put it into simple words, these are the people who have complaints, no no no, some serious grave complaints against the government. Except, they don’t write grievance columns in the newspaper, they, errr, believe it or burp, plant bombs at various locations and kill innocent people.
Virat, the army man deals with this notorious group and does his best to nip them in the bud. When he nails them down, he doesn’t hand them over to the police and let the judiciary take over. Instead he kidnaps them and stores them in his house. Thus there are no skeletons that tumble out of his closet but gagged and tied terrorists. The man has quite a variety of tastes in life I say! You-Kinky-Kumar-you!
The mastermind behind these terrorists is the joint secretary in defense. Why? Because he seeks a promotion at work, jump from the joint secretary position to the secretary position. Gosh! Is recession ne bado bado ko aatankwadi bana diya hain. Hmph!
The film is an unintelligent preachy tribute to our army men, time and again mocking the civilians and how they don’t do enough for the country. In a dramatic scene Virat uses his sister as bait to get to the terrorists. When she complains about her life being jeopardised, she is lectured on how army men are godsent, how civilians are always cynical watching TV and how we all must sacrifice our lives for Bharat Mata. Doing your job, paying bills and abiding by the rules are not enough… I am so guilty now. Kill me, KILL ME. I am a BAD CITIZEN. I don’t die for my country!
The terrorists on the other hand have a colourful notice board that boasts of detailed clean creative collages of cartoons jumping over fences and diving into the sea, hence reaching to earth-shattering conclusions about army men being great jumpers and swimmers. DAH! Not just that they also trace 12 important army men busting their plans by what they wore. There is a line that says, “America mein suit-pant aam baat hain, India mein nahi”. They all wore suit-pant, the dress code of a wedding!
The scenes between Akshay and Sonakshi are not only uninspiring but irritating. There are strange rules of their first date. Sample this: the boyfriend can demand anything of his girlfriend and she will have to oblige. Sonakshi-the-filmi-version-of-Karnam-Malleswari-Sinha in Holiday - A Soldier is Never Off Duty plays a different role. She is not playing just a bimbette but a boxer of a bimbette, the kind of boxer who slaps her father hard across his face because he wants her to get married. She flutters her eye lashes, pouts her painted lips and demands a kiss throughout the film but is never obliged. I am sure it’s got something to do with those hiding terrorists in Virat’s closet.
Akshay still struggles through his lines, is fab in action sequences and beats a dozen men to a pulp in a nanosecond. Well for a man who can lift the heavy duty boxer belle Sonakshi Sinha, fighting with a pack of gangsters is cakewalk.
The film has Mumbai monorail make its debut, Govinda play a strange cameo and a typical Akshay Kumar action-packed climax. If this excites you, go and watch Holiday – A Soldier is Never Off Duty. I surely want a holiday to recuperate from the three hour nonsense that mercilessly spooled out! Phew!
Movie Review: Khwaabb
Starring: Navdip Singh, Simer Motiani, Bajrang Bali Singh and Nafisa Ali
Director: Zaid Ali Khan
Rating: 2 stars
Khwaabb could have been a far more polished film dealing with the incredible subject of the Indian sports system and how it’s plagued by so many problems: from pot-bellied-pakora-gorging-corrupt-officials to lack of funds to performance-enhancing drugs being used by certain athletes. Alas, it suffers because of Zaid Ali Khan’s weak direction; the entire film becomes rather too sketchy and superficial.
Ram Prasad is an athletics coach. He spots an amazing swimmer named Kiran and an equally amazing athlete named Sanjay in a village, and decides to take them to the sports academy in Delhi.
The village girl arrives. One. Two. Dive. Into the holy lake. Coins, which she quickly rakes. Ram Prasad is impressed. But drunkard papa is depressed. Ram Prasad makes her an offer she can’t refuse. Drunkard papa, bye bye.
The stranger talent scout could have been a drug peddler, a serial killer, a full-blown Gulshan Grover type Baaaad Maaaan!! But the girl still packs her potli and decides to tag along after her exact three-and-a-half minute meeting with the stranger sir.
Then comes on board the lady’s admirer, whose Speedy Gonzales act clocks unbelievable numbers on Ram Prasad’s stopwatch. Aur waise bhi what’s a Hindi film without a bit of Yin and Yang. So the three reach the academy, that’s called, err, Academy. Yes, only Academy.
The girl meets her swimming coach who is too touchy-touchy, hence instantly fired. Nafisa Ali is then happily hired; the new coach in her sneakers and salwaar kameez, who trains in just three words - tez, tez aur tez!!
It is this lack of depth in writing and characterisation that turns a fabulous story into an unconvincing film. The film packs in too many issues and hardly gives ample time to any one of them.
Sleazy coach, eager to approach, jealous rivals and substance abuse, innocent girl has no clue, lack of funds, preference to politician’s sons!! All haphazardly tied!! Neighbors (no) envy, filmmakers (no) pride!!
Consequently, the outcome doesn’t quite engage or convince. It didn’t leave me on the edge of my seat, feeling the players’ anguish or rooting for them in their races.
The scenes are pretty vague, lacking depth and a natural flair. Dialogues are spoken in an animated manner, like kids in grade five at their annual function. Navdip Singh plays the main lead, the athlete Sanjay. He shows promise and might do better with a better director. He is passable for his debut. Simer Motiani though, playing a central role, lacks conviction.
The film also packs in a crash course in ‘How to play a Hindi film villager’. Just swap your z with j and your f with ph. So ‘z’aroorat becomes ‘j’aroorat, ‘f’ail becomes ‘ph’ail. Put on some badly-fitting clothes and voila your Hindi film villager is ready instantly!!
In one scene, Sanjay has problems running in shoes. Of course, of course!! After all, he comes from a village. Villagers don’t wear shoes. So cut copy paste a scene from Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. Except BMB was based in the 1950s. This is 2014. People in villages KNOW what shoes are and how it feels to run in them.
It’s difficult to shoot a sports film but cinematographer Aharon Rothschild manages to get some fabulous underwater shots.
I wish the main protagonists themselves dreamt of becoming national players instead of realising it from the stranger Ram Prasad sir. It would have looked far more convincing then. The makers have put an extra ‘b’ in the title of the film - Khwaabb. Hope this numerology helps. I doubt if anything else would.
Dia Mirza to Marry Sahil Sangha on October 18
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Actress-producer Dia Mirza will tie the knot with her fiancé Sahil Sangha on October 18 this year in Delhi. The actress confirmed the news saying, “We've finally zeroed in on a date for our wedding. It's 18 October. That's the date when Sahil and I will be married.”
While the wedding will take place in Delhi and will be attended by the couple’s family and close friends, it is likely that she will later host a lavish reception in Mumbai for friends from the film industry.
Given that Sahil’s family is largely based in Delhi, it seemed to be the obvious choice with Dia stating, “It was the two families' decision to have the wedding in Delhi on the chosen date.”
Saturday, 2 August 2014
Movie Review: Ek Villain
Starring: Sidharth Malhotra, Riteish Deshmukh and Shraddha Kapoor
Director: Mohit Suri
Rating: 2 stars
Ek Villain was initially called When Grumpy Met Bubbly.
Grumpy: Hi. This is Grumpy.
Bubbly: Heeyyyyyyyy, what is this sadu face? Come on, chin up!! Okay, shall I crack a joke? Blah blah blah blah blah blah…and I know it’s sad that you were launched in Dah of the Year but look at me…I started with Teen Patti, showed no talent in Luv Ka the End…but I am still smiling. Blah blah blah blah blah blah…Smile, yaar. Be happy, yaar. You know I love people and I maintain a diary. I click pictures of dead people and I pin those pictures in my diary!! I am a bigger psycho than that Riteish Deshmukh. Smile, yaar…don’t be sadu, man…Mohit Suri promises massive churners, SMILLLEEEEEEE!!!
Grumpy: SHAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP!!! [Gunshot]
That pretty much sums up the love story between Grumpy Guru and Bubbly Aisha, the two main characters of Ek Villain.
Without giving away the suspense, however inane and lame that might be, Ek Villain primarily starts with one love story and ends with two. Ramadan Bonanza, I tell you! Ek love story ke saath doosri free!! The first love story converts a badass gangster into a domesticated husband; the second one changes a henpecked husband into a psycho serial killer. So no matter which strata, which walk of life you come from, it’s always the men who have to change. Sob sob!! Tissue please!!
Guru (Sidharth-one-expression-Malhotra) is a gangster with the same old backstory - My parents were killed when I was eight. So I can kill anyone, everyone, and it’s justified. He can’t move a muscle to emote; and this is when he is not even Botoxed. He meets Aisha (Shraddha-as-irritating-as-Asin-in-Ghajini-Kapoor) is a happy, very happy, I mean VERRRRRRRYYYY HAPPPY, pleaaaaase CALM DOWN HAPPY girl who is on a mission to help everyone and finally kill them with her bad jokes. (Dude, I watched Humshakals last week - please have some mercy!) Shraddha’s character is a problem. She is passable in the film though.
Then there is Rakesh (Riteish-last-week-comedy-this-week-intensity-Deshmukh) who is abused and ridiculed by his wife. So he decides to kill other people’s wives. He has a friend too, played by KRK, who gives ‘regressive lines’ a whole new dirtier meaning. He beats his wife and says, “System hame marti hai, duniya hame marti hai, toh hum apni biwi ko marte hain.” Between KRK and Shraddha Kapoor, I couldn’t quite decide who was more irritating!
The philanthropist Ekta Kapoor has not only produced the film but also pulled out her soap queens from their joblessness and given them a few moments back in the limelight in Ek Villian. One of them is a nagging, abusive wife (Aamna Sharif) and the other is an item girl in a pointless item song (Prachi Desai).
The good thing about the film is its cinematography. DOP Vishnu Rao has captured Goa beautifully. I also liked the background score of the film where a mobile phone starts vibrating when someone is killed.
The film didn’t work for me but these films usually work for masses.
Kangana Ranaut: Katti Batti is an Unusual Love Story
Kangana Ranaut, who will be seen with Imran Khan in Nikhil Advani's love story Katti Batti, says it is different from the usual romance dramas seen in Bollywood.
"We will start shooting for Katti Batti in September. It is a very good love story. It is different from the usual love stories that we get to see in Bollywood films," Kangana said at the launch of the cover of Grazia magazine featuring her.
"The element of love has been depicted in a different way in that film. The film's idea and philosophy is very good," added the 27-year-old.
This is the first time Kangana has been paired with Imran and she is looking forward to it.
Meanwhile, she has also been approached for an Italian film. However, she is finding it tough to accomodate it in her busy schedule.
"I have got the offer for an Italian film but I have not decided on whether I will be able to fit that in my schedule or not," Kangana said.
Currently, she has three films in her kitty, including Divine Lovers and Tanu Weds Manu 2.
Katti Batti will be produced by UTV Motion Pictures.
Indo-Asian News Service | August 02, 2014 17:52 IST (Mumbai)
